Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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