the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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