this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Randomize
