Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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