Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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