Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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