It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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