she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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