Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I am puke
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize