shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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