i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
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