How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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