batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
