the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
