How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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