I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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