I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
