i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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