I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Dicks are not precious.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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