hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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