i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
