I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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