North Korea, Best Korea!
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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