That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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