I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
