I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You've changed since you got that strap on
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
