I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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