I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize