i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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