i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
