My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
