The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
