I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
