I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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