He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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