Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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