Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
