Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
what is it with giant penises always finding me
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
