You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
