duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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