All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
