we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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