You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
