So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
