You're my little dorito
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize