i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
