if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
