I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
