know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
