There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
