every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
You left your phone here
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