Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
