Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize