I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You dont lie about slip and slides
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize