You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I cannot find my penis.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
