why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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