is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
