He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
