OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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