4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
