new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
