Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
