i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
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